Coming together...Girls, Apples, pictures

I think I am getting better at the whole blog thing. I am at least now remembering that I have to write in it even though I don't necessarily get to!
So, my blog is coming along nicely. Taking a hint from Jim Lee's blog, I am now able to put up pictures on mine using Flickr.com. Be on the look out for all sorts of visual goodies! You never know what may pop up!
Moving on, let me go over the title. Girls, Apples, and pictures...well I think I covered the picture part, let's move onto girls.
I was chatting with a certain someone online last night and I realized that I had a great story to tell and for whatever reasons never put it down. This lovely young lady reminded me of this and so without further interuption, let me introduce my new friend Kim.
About two weeks ago I headed up to Massachusetts with Kevin (my hetero- lifemate) for a mutal friend's wedding. This was in a very rural area os Massachusetts that I sometimes forget exists. It often bothers me that when people think of the North East, everything is developed...well not this place. The wedding was in Hudson, MA. Way out in God's Country, but none the less a very cute New England town. Kevin actually worked up there during his highschool years. He performed community service, as many of us Catholics are forced to do, at a home for "pregnant crack-whores." Those are Kev's words not mine, but just so you don't think he is a total ass, Kevin is very active in his church and often volunteers his time. Whether it be teaching CCD or spending his time at hospitals working with severely retarded children. God help him, I sure as hell couldn't do it. Anyway, here we are driving around Hudson and Kevin says he wants to show me something. So we drive by the facility (which is really just an old house) for the pregnant crackwhores and he takes me to this petting zoo/general store. "Why the hell are you taking me here?" ask's I. "Because it is a cool store and your dear sweet mother would love it if you ever decided to take her here, you ungreatful bastard," say's Kevin.
So in I go and I have to admit that they had all sorts of great looking food and stuff. I am always down for homemade, all natural, don't give a shit as long as it tastes good food. However, attached is your typical New England nick knack shop, complete with little wooden houses, stuffed animals that you can pose, antique looking dolls, etc etc. A whole bunch of crafts that are really only good for kindling. So we walk around for a bit, then head back outside. Now I am in no way a sheltered child. I have travelled all across Europe, been to some of the shittiest ghettos in RI and DC, have been to every state on the Eastern Seaboard and I am pretty well educated. That being said I have never seen a live chicken.
Kev and I are walking around the "petting zoo" and we come to chicken coup #1. Now I have never seen a live chicken but I was pretty sure they weren't as big as these fowl dinosaurs. Freaking huge! Their legs weren't the skinny little twigs I had always pictured but were thick, muscular talon. I am standing there in awe of these beasts that I have so regularly dined on for many of my 26 years. As I am looking, I call to Kev, with blatant disregard for the children standing around me "Hey check out the size of these fucking chickens!" Kevin wobbles on over (he really has a very distinct walk!). He looks at the birds..."Dude, those are Roosters"
I can truly count on my hand how many times I have felt that stupid and embaressed in my life. So as I nonchalantly try to step away from the coup, I see Kevin wandering down some stairs to the horses. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have ridden a horse. I have only done it once and I will be in no good mood if I ever have to do it again. It is truly an epic story of my monumental bad luck. Regardless, with endless curiosity I decided to follow my good friend down the steps to a mother and her kids petty a young horse no more than two feet from a sign that clearly says "Please do not pet horses, they bite." Perhaps she thought she had more than one it was ok if one of her kids got maimed, I don't know. Kevin, on the other hand, I know can read and so I would not feel bad if the horse removed one of his digits. It would at least cause me to laugh hysterically as I try to bandage the stump. Well anyway, the horse was good and received the attention quite well, unlike the majority of actors in Hollywood.
I did noticed however that this horse was stranded on one side of its pen dud to a monstrous puddle, of unknown depth, that stretched widely across the yard. On the far side were what I can only assume to be the horse's relatives, all huddled in a corner. Apparently the horse was really a black sheep. Yes my humor is that dry.
We eventually leave the farm and head to the church. There is where things start to get interesting. Kevin and I arrive and seem to be the only ones there. We are pretty sure we have the right church and after about 20 minutes people start showing up. This will be the second non-Catholic wedding I have attended out of the 20 I have gone to in the last two years. I always get very excited to see how other religions do it. I hope to make it to a Jewish and a Muslim wedding someday. So we walk into this very nice Methodist Church, it was made in the "tudor" style of architecture of which I am a fan. So we sit down and wait for the show to begin. Mind you, Kev and I have not seen a soul we recognize and I am starting to think we may be at the wrong wedding except the program is telling us otherwise. While sitting I notice a young lady sitting on the other side of the aisle a row or two up. A young asian woman short dark hair and a rather attractive face. In my usual declaration of hoplessness I say to myself "Just forget it, you are a wedding. You need to behave and you know she is probably her with someone."
With that the wedding begins, I was very excited to see all the members of the "Brotherhood" except Marc, who I don't believe was invited. It had been a while since we all got together and the reality of our meetings becoming more and more associated with things like weddings, childbirths and funerals rather than the usual hanging out on a Friday night started to make me feel a little bit too old.
The wedding was short and sweet and yet I still managed to fall asleep. For that I am sorry Joy and Jim, however, I did see you exchange vows and say "I do". After the nuptuals we were headed for the Holiday Inn in some other one-horse town in Massachusetts. Now, I was really impressed with this hotel. I did not have high expectations upon arriving but upon entering I was in awe. You see, the outside of the building at night makes the hotel look deceivingly small and the first thing that popped into my head was "where the hell is the reception going to be?" Walking in, I realize right away I was wrong. After passing the front desk there was a wall of class doors. On the otherside of which was a huge, gorgeous atrium that was really quite neat! The pool was hidden in there among real trees, two gazeboes, and several stone pathways that made you feel like you were at a tropical resort of sorts.
So eventually they let everyone into the atrium, I had snuck in earlier. It was the cocktail hour along with cheese and crackers. I hate to say I don't usually eat cheese cubes but they had these pepperjack cheese cubes that really made your hair stand up. DAMN GOOD! So as I am sitting along this wall bench thingy, I noticed the cute Asian girl was sitting at the far end. So, now I have had a drink at this point on an empty stomach. It doesn't take me too long to forget myself and start strategizing how I am gonna talk to this girl. So naturally, Kevin is double fisting drinks already and being the social butterfly is mingling with people that he will never see again but somehow he quickly gets to know. As me and the rest of the wallflowers are chatting and making jokes, Kevin comes up and starts chatting and makes some rather funny comment. The cute Asian girl hears him and starts laughing...THERE"S MY OPENING! GO GO GO...only she talks to me first, "Are you on the bride or grooms side?" That my fellow readers is how I met the lovely Kim.
Now right away we start chatting and she has a great smile. But just as the conversation gets going, they announce the guests to their tables. So instead of just taking off, I decide to find out what table she is at, walk her there, and tell her to save me a dance. A DANCE! WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY WAS I THINKING!? I don't dance, unless I am completely shitfaced. I wasn't planning on getting that way either. The last time I was completely shitfaced and dancing, I was with Kevin, and some girl went home with my underwear.
Regardless I sit down at my table, #3 to be exact. Just as I am sitting down, the DJ who was right behind me, or should I say her 500 watt speaker, belts out a hello that sends me jumping to the ceiling! After climbing down, I get in my seat and the good times begin to roll. It was great to see everyone and we were all having a blast. Then Lisa, Melisa and Nancy come over. They are also friends of ours but they were all bridesmaids. I was sitting with their respective dates and I happen to mention Kim. Lisa immediately tells me she is with one of the groomsmen and to forget. I couldn't help but hear the heartless joy in her voice as she was telling me the news. However, I never give up and I feel I am pretty shrewd judge of these things and the boyfriend alarm was not going off when I spoke with her. So I will just assume Lisa is full of shit, has no idea what she is talking about and wants to rain on my parade.
Well after dinner I wander over to the bar, flying solo as I am want to do. I have a tendency to get solitary around alcohol. I tend to seperate myself from my friends and then go on the hunt for new "friends". Anyway as I am strutting up to the bar trying my best to give off a James Bond vibe, I see Kim. We start chatting again and this girl is cool as shit. However, we weren't chatting long till we were interrupted again by something I can't recall.
The night moves on, a few more drinks, some good laughs and the dance floor is up in a rush. So I figured what the hell, I walk up to Kim and say "Do you want to dance?" She grabs my hand and leads me to the floor. Now I have to admit, she has the softest hands I think I have ever felt. Generally girls in my experience have soft skin, for which I am eternally greatful but these things were like satin pillows. It was quite nice. Anyway we are dancing and chatting and I am doing my best not to sound like a drunk moron. Again, another bump in the road. The song is shorter than I had anticipated and rather than stand there in the waltz position we go our seperate ways. The night begins to wind down and I have to make another move.
My good friend the DJ announces that this will be the last song. I ask her to play one more slow one and she says she has to close up shop. Seeing the disappointment in my face apparently gives her the brilliant idea to play a slow song as the night's closer. This is my chance, now or never to have some uninterruppted time with Kim. I mosey over, half cocked and say Kim, will you dance the last song with me. She says "This is that last song" I say "Nope, I requested one so I can get another dance with you." HE SHOOTS HE SCORES!
Dancing to the last song was great. We got to chat some more and sober up and I was able to see that great smile. Then when it was over, I asked what her plans were. I was not going to bed anytime soon and I was still in the mood to party and the hotel bar was till open. All my friends were going down there and I asked her to join. She told me she had to play poker with her friends but if she had time she would come down.
Well, we went out seperate ways for a bit, before I called her and asked her to come down to the bar. Now, having a drink with a girl isn't really big deal on the cosmic scale of things. You would have thought I was having sex on the bar with Catherine Zeta Jones, the way my friends reacted. I felt like I was being watched by the Inquirer!
Anyway, Kim came down and we started chatting. She told me her last name and somethign didn't click. She had a spanish last name but looked Asian....immediately I realized she was Filipino. How cool is that!? She is originally from the Phillipines but somehow ended up in New Jersey. Talk about a let down! Anyway, I was able to figure out she was Filipino, which impressed her and then I started to ask her about Tagolog, the native language. "It is a combination of Spanish and Polynesian languages right?" She said yes and then asked me how I knew so much about it. I told her about my experiences in the martial arts and how I made it a point to learn about each culture those arts came from. Without missing a beat she asks me dead serious "This isn't a fetish thing, is it?" I think I almost fell out of my seat I was laughing so hard. The blunt question caught me so off guard and was so far from the truth I couldn't do anything but laugh. When I calmed down I answered honestly "No, not at all" and then conversation went on. But nothing is ever safe, Kevin comes over to tell me everyone is retiring for the evening. No sooner does he leave, then Lisa appears. "Don't stay out too late, we are going to bed soon. So please be back soon." Talk about mordifying. Like she was my mother! If that didn't deserve a slap I don't know what does. I was even more annoyed to find out later that Lisa was making assumptions that I was trying to get some ass but then so bluntly stated "well you can't bring her back here and she is sharing a room with that guy." To which, I triumphantly announced "No quite jackass. She has her own room by herself. Shut up and go to sleep!" Try and piss in my wheaties and I will cut you down everytime!
The night ended with me getting Kim's number, and walking her back to her room. I then returned to mine, although I forgot the number. My saving grace was that Lisa's voice can penetrate walls and I was able to hear Kevin and her talking. The downside was to all this was I would have much rather snuggled up with Kim for obvious reasons than listen to Kevin and Lisa fart and snore. But alas, it wasn't meant to be.
However, in the long run it was a happy ending. I met a really cool girl, who I talk to from time to time. I had a great time at Joy and Jim's wedding after having a terrible week. I ate well, drank well and slept well. Can't ask for anything more...well except to see Kim again.
The Edge
PS...I almost forgot about the Apples. I ate an Apple yesterday. You might not think that is a big deal but it is the first piece of fruit I have eatten since elementary school. In my attempt to lose weight and get healthy I took the fruit plunge. It was entirely too long of a wait!